Curiosity killed the Cat (GODLY CATS)
by ParadigmShift26
Summary: While sorting out the mail, Hermes stumbles across a parcel addressed to the Olympians. Curious, he opens it only to find a book. Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief? It doesn't take long for Zeus to get his hands on this, and boy is he is furious. Someone attempts to steal his beloved bolt! He forces the Gods to gather and read the book. Knowing them, this won't go so smoothly.


**Disclaimer: I DO NOT own Percy Jackson or any of its characters.**

**Chapter 1:**

Hermes huffed angrily as he threw out yet _another_ pile of letters. Honestly, the amount of junk mail the gods were receiving these days was insane.

HELP GROW YOUR MUSCLES WITH GROWBRO

What? He didn't need no muscle growth. They were perfectly buff thank you very much.

Rolling his eyes, he reached into his backpack only to pull out another handful of colourful papers and brochures, all advertising the newest diet fads. Huh, perhaps he should give it to Dionysus… Deciding everything was unimportant; Hermes emptied the bags contents into the bin. Before he could walk away however, a sudden thump caught his attention.

_What could it possibly be?_

Curiosity getting the better of him, Hermes reached into the overflowing bin in an attempt to find the mystery item, grimacing whenever his hand brushed against some mouldy and most likely 100 year old sandwiches. Those garbage men really needed to be sacked.

His face quickly lit up when he touched what seemed to be a box. Grabbing it and pulling his hand from the bin, Hermes was met with a nicely wrapped parcel addressed to all the Olympians... and Hades.

How curious, the Gods, especially Hades, rarely received any decent letters, let alone gifts. The most they got was complaints from the surrounding spirits and sometimes even minor gods.

Hesitantly, Hermes began to unwrap the parcel. It hit him this could also be a prank. After all he was prone to pulling them on father. To his surprise and slight disappointment, the parcel held merely a book.

**_Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief_**

Percy Jackson, who could that be? He wracked his brain in an attempt to put a face to the name. To his dismay, he couldn't remember anyone with such a title.

Perhaps he was a Satyr…

* * *

Zeus sighed moodily as Hera continued to relentlessly lecture him. As much as he loved his wife, more often than not, she got on his nerves. And as she stood now, face contorted with rage, she was definitely annoying him.

"You gods can never keep you're promises. Even with the oath you had to go and have that misfit of a girl!"

He narrowed his eyes. The air around him seemed to crackle with lightning at his darkening mood, but he did not care. It had only been a few months since Thalia had turned into a tree and he didn't like it when anyone mentioned her, even if it was his wife.

"Now dearest," he began, irritation leaking into his voice. "Don't be too harsh on the girl; she is after all, my daughter."

"A bastard daughter," She mumbled just loud enough for him to hear.

Zeus balled his hand into a fist.

However, before he could say anything else, their conversation was interrupted by the quiet sounds of giggles. They were coming from outside the door and for Zeus, who was already in a bad mood, it was the final straw.

"WHO DARES TO INTERRUPT MIGHTY ZEUS GOD OF THE SKIES," He roared.

A loud crash was heard as someone, mostly likely Hermes or Apollo, fell.

"Awww shit," a voice mumbled from outside.

Zeus stormed towards the door and yanked it open, only to find Hermes immersed in papers and letters, face down on the floor.

A book lay near his feet.

"What's this? Slacking off on your duties _again_ Hermes?!"

Said God quickly stood up. He could tell from his father's tone and stance he was not happy. He started to gather the papers and parcels all while trying to conceal the book he had been giggling at earlier.

"N-no of course not father," he replied nervously, attempting to laugh off the accusation.

Zeus zoned in on the book in his hands and quickly snatched it away.

"Is this what's been stealing your attention."

He examined the book intently.

Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief.

Lightning thief?

Thief of lightning…?

"WHAAAAAT SOMEONE STOLE MY MASTER BOLT?! HERMES HOW COULD YOU KEEP SUCH VALUABLE INFORMATION AWAY FROM ME?!"

The room trembled as Zeus' anger wreaked havoc on the world below. Cities were bombarded with unexpected lightning storms and mortals were sent into panic.

Hermes nearly shit himself right then and there.

"What is going on here?" Hera exclaimed joining the conversation between the two.

"N-noth-"Hermes stuttered.

"CALL A MEETING RIGHT NOW."

* * *

Poseidon raised his eyebrows as the other Gods slowly began to fill the room.

Zeus had called a meeting, and EVERYONE had to attend, even Hades.

He kept his face stoic, showing no outward emotion, but if he had to be truthful, he was actually quite curious. What was so urgent that his brother was forced to call an emergency meeting? The man was dramatic, but he was no fool. Calling all the gods to one place before the solstice was serious business.

As if hearing his thoughts, Zeus stood up and began to talk.

"I understand you must be curious as to why I have suddenly called you all here. Let me assure you it is for no minor issue."

As he said all this, he also summoned his lightning bolt and looked upon it with adoration.

"My master bolt, has been stolen," he whispered, mostly likely aiming for a dramatic effect.

Poseidon wondered if after all these years of being God of the Sea whether his ears had filled up with water and messed up his hearing. He looked to Hades who seemed to share the same look of confusion. They exchanged stares before cracking up along with a few others.

Apollo seemed to gather his senses first and went to correct Zeus.

"I guess after all these years you finally have lost your marbles Dad,"

"The lightning bolt is right there. Like in your hand."

"Over there."

Zeus looked away from his beloved bolt and scowled angrily at the rest of the Gods, infuriated by their reactions to his news.

_MY LIGHTNING BOLT HAS BEEN STOLEN AND THEY'RE LAUGHING AT ME?!_

He opened his mouth to reprimand them but was interrupted by Hera, who obviously had enough of their idiocy.

"SILENCE! What your father had _meant _to say was he believes that his lightning bolt _will _be stolen sometime in the near future. He had of course come to this conclusion because of a book Hermes found."

All heads turned and looked pointedly at Hermes who in turn shrunk into his seat, trying to look as small as possible.

"What is the name of this book, may I ask?" Athena inquired, turning the attention of all the gods off Hermes.

"Ahem, yes. The book is called 'Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief'. Quite creative right?" Hera answered.

Something stirred inside Poseidon.

_What a peculiar name. Percy Jack-_

_PERCY JACKSON?!_

"Wskhjsoweq"

_As in MY Percy Jackson?!_

_Nooo. Of course not. There are many Percy Jackson's in the world…_

_But, how many are DEMI-GODS?!_

_No, but still, it cannot be. He is only 6 years old. This is not my Percy. I'm sure of it._

"Barnacle Brain's making weird noises again." commented Ares.

Lost in his thoughts, Poseidon didn't notice his panic had drawn the attention of pretty much every God.

"He's making weird noises, what's new?" Athena said, ignoring the burning glare Poseidon shot her direction. "Can we just start reading already?"

Zeus cleared his throat.

'Ahem, right, I'll read first."

"I accidentally vaporise my maths teacher."

**A/N: Ok, I've officially been sucked back into the fandom known as Percy Jackson. I've seen TONS of stories like this on fanfiction, and I know its cliché, but I really want to try writing my own.**

**This is a collaboration between me and hiddenwonderland, so you can expect quick updates cause its two heads working on one story.**

**Our beta is beautyisanimperfection, so many thanks to her.**

**Anyways, hope the first chapter isn't too tedious, and that you guys liked it.**

**PLEASE REVIEW AND TELL US WHAT YOU THINK!**


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